“A sunny and happy child is a child who can be independent. He (she) has the ability to face all kinds of difficulties in life and find his own place in society.” How to cultivate a child who is psychologically sunny and stays away from darkness? ? To this end, we have collected a series of highly operational suggestions from many senior parenting experts to parents.
1. Training children’s ability to be alone
Psychologists say that a sense of security is not a sense of dependence. If a child needs a warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as letting him stay in a safe room by himself.
To gain a sense of security, a child does not necessarily need parents to be present at all times. Even if he cannot see you, he will know in his heart that you are there. For the various needs of children, adults need to “respond” rather than “satisfy” everything.
2. Satisfy children to a degree
It is necessary to artificially set some boundaries, and children’s requirements cannot be met unconditionally. Another prerequisite for a happy mood is that the child can bear the inevitable setbacks and disappointments in life.
Only when the child understands that the attainment of something does not depend on his desire, but on his ability, can he obtain inner fulfillment and happiness.
The sooner a child understands this truth, the less pain he will suffer. You must not always satisfy your child’s wishes in the first place. The right thing to do is to procrastinate a bit. For example, if the child is hungry, you can let him wait for a few minutes. Don’t give in to all your child’s demands. Rejecting some of your child’s demands will help him gain more peace of mind.
Accepting this kind of “unsatisfactory reality” training in the family will enable children to have sufficient psychological endurance to face setbacks in future life.
3. Cold treatment when children get angry
When a child gets angry, the first way is to divert his attention and find a way to make him go to his room to get angry. Without the audience, he himself will slowly quiet down.
Appropriate punishment, and follow through to the end. The strategy for saying “no”: Instead of saying no dryly, explain why it doesn’t work. Even if the child can’t understand, he can understand your patience and respect for him.
The parents must agree on one another, and one cannot say yes and the other no; while prohibiting one thing, give him the freedom to do another.
4. Let him do it
Let the child do what he can do early, and he will be more proactive in doing things in the future. Don’t overdo things for the child, speak for the child, make decisions for the child, before taking over the responsibility, you can think about it, maybe the child can do it by himself.
What not to say: “You can’t, you can’t do this!” Let the child “try something new”. Sometimes adults forbid a child to do something simply because “he hasn’t done it”. If things are not dangerous, let your child try them.